I can be crude.
I can make the most appalling jokes, in the company of good friends. You know, the one's that I hope will continue to forgive me.
And yet, today, I cringed.
At Officeworks, getting printing done, the lady behind the printing counter apologised to the customers, saying "There should be two of me today, but there's only one, I apologise for the delays", which was very understandable.
The man behind me said, "I would like there to be two of you as well" and grinned at me, a'la Tony Abbot. I should have understood then, but I laughed and said "yeah, it'd great to have a me at home, doing all the work". He looked uncomfortable and said that wasn't what he meant... and then I twigged and went all quiet and extremely uncomfortable.
She was in her workplace. I was in a public place. None of us knew each other.
So I pondered all day why this only moderately naughty comment made me uncomfortable and spent the rest of my visit looking down at my shoes trying to avoid this man.
I talked to friends about it, I thought, I let it sit. And I think it was that she wasn't in a position to be anything other than polite to his mild crudity and that gives a feeling of being trapped.