Sunday, 25 May 2014

mild confusion over mild crudeness.

I can be crude.
I can make the most appalling jokes, in the company of good friends.  You know, the one's that I hope will continue to forgive me.

And yet, today, I cringed.

At Officeworks, getting printing done, the lady behind the printing counter apologised to the customers, saying "There should be two of me today, but there's only one, I apologise for the delays", which was very understandable.

The man behind me said, "I would like there to be two of you as well" and grinned at me, a'la Tony Abbot.  I should have understood then, but I laughed and said "yeah, it'd great to have a me at home, doing all the work".  He looked uncomfortable and said that wasn't what he meant... and then I twigged and went all quiet and extremely uncomfortable.

She was in her workplace.  I was in a public place.  None of us knew each other.

So I pondered all day why this only moderately naughty comment made me uncomfortable and spent the rest of my visit looking down at my shoes trying to avoid this man.

I talked to friends about it, I thought, I let it sit.  And I think it was that she wasn't in a position to be anything other than polite to his mild crudity and that gives a feeling of being trapped.

Saturday, 24 May 2014

Two steps forward... two steps back

I miss SiDana Cat so much sometimes I am completely immobilised.
How are people supposed to go on living with grief?

And where is my Charlie cat to cuddle while I am feeling so sad?

Elsie Fluffington gives good sad moments cuddles.   And affectionate bites.

Friday, 16 May 2014

The thrill of travel.

Tonight, Hubby came home with a big smile on his face!
The excitement oozed out of every atom of him... He is being sent to Tasmania, to work on something exciting!  And, he gets to go on the ferry, so he can take his car!  Freedom! Adventure!  Lots of exclamation marks!

He loves it.  He loves the travelling, the being somewhere else, exploring a new place and seeing all the differences there.  He adores Tasmania, which is odd with his distaste for the colder weather.  History.  It's seeped in history.

The loneliness gets to him when he is away for so long, however.

It falls during the holidays, so I suggested Princess and I could go along...
Then he mentioned that he was leaving on the day of our first RUCCIS production.
That it was for 8 days.

Next, the idea of going after Production and my choosing not to perform in the Student Cabaret.  This disappointed me, but Family is more important than Circus and I was staying for Production already...

So I looked at the flight costs.
Quite affordable.  If you want to get up at 3 am.
I thought about being away from the cats for the first time.
We discussed maybe only go for two days.

Which felt a lot better.  I don't like travel.
I hate it.  I hate the physical act of travelling, the paranoia about not getting to the plane on time, of finding bookings have been lost or made wrong, of having to search out a new area and learn all the dangers.
I adore Tasmania, however.  The clean air, lovely, unspoilt beaches, hot springs pools, caves and the Gorge at Launceston.

So I kept going with the flight booking.
Hubbylicious commented that he would be on call, so we couldn't go to many of those places, anyway.  I know what this means.  It means spending lots of time exploring near the motel.  Going out for coffees, not meals in case he gets a call.  Being left in interesting places while he checks on a call.

At each step, my already weak motivation for going was being drained.  I looked up at him and commented that the only reason I would go was to be with him.  He said that I can do that anytime.

I closed down the flight booking page and hid my sigh of relief.  I even waited until he left the room before going to cuddle my kitties that I didn't have to leave behind, even for two days.

I always wanted to feel settled, to put down roots in this "new" town I live in.  It took nearly 20 years, but I think it's happened. :-)