Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Role Model Cat

My new cats are awesome and I love them.

I've been waiting for the adoration to build to early "Dana Cat" levels...

and it hasn't.

Pondering this occurance over the last few weeks has lead to much introspection.

One reason I adored SiDana so intensely was her unashamedness at being who and what she was.

Trickey sent me this picture, from The Onion News once.


There was no doubts about it, SiDana was a efficient killer.  Who liked to eat half her prey (I love presents!).

SiDana was possessive and jealous and if she ever thought about this, probably considered these to be some of her most endearing traits.

My Tabby of stunning gorgeousness loved a good fight.  And when she'd had enough, she also liked to get away from the fight, leaving the other cat fuming with futile angst.  Up high.  Her agility was astounding and I admit to feeling smugly proud of the way she could leap to my shoulder with ease.

During one of her battles, her ear became injured, and even with good care it healed like this.
Trickey mourned the loss of my girl cat's perfect ear but I... I felt it was right.  She was outrageously pretty, and that little scar told the world that she was more than just silky fur and beautifully large almond eyes.  She was a Warrior!  A Huntress!  A Defender!  Amazon Cat!  Who will sleep when and where she wants to without trying to keep up any kind of image!



Everything of mine, was hers.  Everything I did, I was to do with her.  Especially sewing.  She loved sewing.  Fabric to play in, that shiny needle to catch, sunshine on the sewing table when she was sleepy.  And Me.  I was there.  She wanted me.


It was a huge thing (Slightly oppressive!) to be so intently needed.  Constantly showered with expressions of her absolute adoration.  Unashamed about needing me.  Not trying to show the world she could be independant and cope alone she allowed herself to admit her dependence upon another.

For 16 years, I had someone who always wanted to be near me and thought I was the world's most amazing creation.  I became unashamed of loving this attention, sharing her love, needing her too.

  Like Peter Gabriel sings,
"And in this moment, I need to be needed
With this darkness all around me, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear, I want to be wanted
'Cause I love to be loved
I love to be loved"

I would get told, in no uncertain terms, of her displeasure, were I to stay away from home for too long.  After every holiday away from my cats, there were vet visits, which always turned out to be that she had become depressed or stressed with me away.  Fur licked off in huge patches, unwillingness to eat, lethargy.
All cured with a week of attention.  Missing those we love does cause sadness.  And this is Tabby-cceptable.

This is the look I got from my 15yr old girl cat when I deposed her from my shoulder one day for digging her claw into the scar on my back too many times in a row.
Complete lack of comprehension as to why she was no longer where she wanted to be, plus a hefty dose of teenage petulance at being denied what she wanted!  She gave herself the Freedom to express her feelings via that look!


So much pretty in one tiny, intelligent, self centred, evil, dominating, adoring, shoulder cat.
Her balance was amazing.  I could do most housework with her staying on my shouler, talking to me about what we were doing in that so gorgeous voice of hers.  Especially after having so many part siamese/burmese cats, her chirrup and trill were aural magic.  Her purr had a better sound than any I have heard and she used to sprinkle a trill into it, to change the colour of the sound from that golden tan to a shimmering warm pink.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chromesthesia in case that made no sense.  I see sounds.  It's fun)
(This bit was probably not role model oriented, but I do feel a sense of delight when I balance on the tightrope, Dana cat like!)


And then... SiDana cat was silly.  With all her grace, her evil, her intensity, give that girl a "my Little Pony" and she would go nuts. Roll on the floor with it, smooch all over it, play with the mane.  Drool a little.  Have fun without  worrying how exceedingly ridiculous she looked.

(The pony would need a bath after I had found where she stashed it.)

No Shame.  Just being Dana.  Being her.  Loving me.  Being a girl who wasn't always trying to be right for our culture but being right for Dana.
Asking for what she wanted.
Being Tabby.

My girl cat. 
Her girl human.

An interesting Role model choice, but the right one for me. *grins*