Tuesday, 2 April 2013

I wasn't brave today

Through much of my life, I have been very brave.  So much scares me, social situations, spiders, death and usually I take what must be, cry about it and do it.

Not today.

My Tabby SiDana has been sneezing for a few days.
A friend suggested I clean up my neglected and dusty house, and it did seem to help.  She still was sniffly, but not as bad.

Isaac needed to go to the vet to get his camel hump installed.  (Technical term for subcutaneous fluid - helps with his kidney issues)

The vet looked and listened to my Tabby's heart and beathing and offered to put her to sleep.

He made it my choice.

I wasn't brave.

But I'll have to be brave in a few days.

Today, an hour before the vet's visit.
I knew.  Denial is a very powerful emotion.
SiDana just makes me so happy.
Edit: I got brave.  My lovely furball was obviously having troubles breathing and Hubby came home and we took her.  Before she was in to much pain.  We did good.  I miss her so much I'm having trouble breathing and I was already struggling in my recovery from losing Charlie. 

They were awesome cats.  Their lives brightened up my life and the memories of them will continue to shine warmly in my soul. 
SiDana was so perfect.  Exceedingly clingy, loving (to me), intelligent, interested in everything, so agile and just a pleasure to watch and be with.  Pair her up with my sunshiney cuddle, the Tuxedo Man who wanted to play and love and had the lushest fur, I was a very, very lucky Cat Mama.


  1. I know exactly how you feel. I recently had to put my dog to sleep. We used an in home vet and she was fabulous. You're in Adelaide aren't you? If you want her details that is.

    1. Thanks, Jen, that is a lovely idea and a friend of mine recently put her Tiny Tabby of similar geriatricness to rest, so I will call her and get the details. Melb here.

      It is so hard. They are our tiny loves. Dana was especially my baby, my clingy girl.

  2. It is very hard...so sorry

    1. It is, thank you for your empathy.

  3. People tell us that, it's just a cat or a dog. So wrong. We totally love them and when they die it is so very sad for us. I hope you won't be too sad for too long. Extra hard when the decision is yours. best wishes...xo

    1. Thanks, Lydia.
      A few days on, I feel good about the decision. Charlie cat and Tayo cat, I held on for too long, believing I could make them better (hoping) and they suffered. Dana never got to that stage and I am happy to have spoilt her in this one last way.
      She was the most amazing cat, so intelligent and agile, so demanding of my time, so overly affectionate. She was always with me at home and that is making it even harder... every moment is a reminder that she is not here, winding under my feet, sitting on my shoulder, talking to me as I shower, following me as I hang out clothes, sitting on my lap as I read, standing in front of the car with an offended expression as she watches me drive aweay from HER (how could I!).
      A friend described it as having a cat shaped hole in your life. So apt.