Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Dizzy with endorphins

I've been reading several of my favourite blogs, Edenland, Magneto Bold Too and others.  I used to bond so strongly with the agonies they are going through.  I still feel with them, agonise with them.



Right now...

I'm really happy.  I've tamed or accepted or modified so many of the problems that brought me down and I admit, I indulge in hefty doses of endorphins with my exercise and circus.  For a second I feel guilt.  It doesn't last because I know how hard I have fought to overcome or simply exist with my challenges.  

Then I feel... sad that I can't give it to those I love.  My solutions are not their solutions.  I cannot fix the difficulties my real life friend has with her two autistic (one also with intellectual disability) children.  I cannot solve my cousins' losses, of partners, of dreams, of their health and their life without pain.

I'm so freaking happy.  Right now, right here, there is so little to write about.  Happiness doesn't engender the need to express myself.  I am expressing myself through my sewing, through my performances with RUCCIS, giving all of myself in each moment, whether as a Mum to a (finally) happy child, a daughter who can empathise with her Marmie,  an artist who can share with an audience what is feels like to fall in love, what it feels like to be part of an amazing, energy fueled 70's act and send that energy out to the audience. 

I so loved both those acts.  The gorgeous, talented and lovely J, singing her soul out to the audience, while I, as a Ventitian lady, attracted to the stunning Gondalier, kept reaching out and being dragged away by the forces of society/gravity until... until... the Gondalier came to me and I surrendered my heart, my single point trapese to J, dancing around her in awe as she impressed not just the audience, but myself as the character.   I loved throwing myself into the concept.  Trying to become more involved with both our characters.  Spinning on the single point trapese definately added to my (glee) enjoyment. 

I may have pictures one day.  We had the most amazing (and adorably passionate about his art) photographer come to both "Little Cabaret of Horrors" and now "Gracie and the Time Machine" and he is simply amazing. 

Until then....Look how good he made M and I look at Cabaret (though M is gorgeous anyway!) 
Capturing Images - The Red Shoes

The highlight of the entire performance, for me, was a trick that T devised.  No idea how he came up with it, but I am so delighted that he did.  Not just because it looks really cool, but because it is an extended moment of sheer joy for me. I so hope, someone, somewhere, filmed it.

Imagine... gripping the ropes of a trapese, swinging back and forth, then on the forward swing, being caught by a very strong and capable friend who spins you around them, letting you go flying across the stage in full spin as well... so that you are now spinning at a delicious speed, while swinging back and forth across the 12 meter stage.  At first T would catch me on the swing back to him, worried my grip wasn't strong enough, until the strength grew and I pouted because I just wanted to keep on spinning and swinging and spinning.


Saturday, 8 September 2012

electronica and synethaesia

As a synethaesiac, I find electronica very relaxing to listen to.

The sounds are very square, the colour consistent through each note.  Easy.

It can occasionally become boring.

Then a band like Yazoo throws a singer with an amazing voice, full of passion and emotion, into the mix, making a beautiful picture of brightly coloured, strongly geometric shapes in the background and a wild streaming ribbon of varying colour, density and shape over the top of it.

One day, I will paint an image of what I see when I listen to a song.
The real challenge is that I can only paint one limited time segment, before the picture changes.  Like flash photography, I would need to choose one tiny moment to capture.

And I would need to be able to remember what I saw.

Thursday, 6 September 2012

I believe in me

I've been very distracted by this "real life" that William Shatner told us Trekkies to get several decades ago.  Seriously, Billy, dressing up as fictional characters and parading on stage, while spending the day talking to other people with the same passion as me... is exactly what I am doing now at Circus.  So, while I respect Captain Kirk, William Shatner can simply accept that my opinion of him is that he is someone who cannot realise other people live fully, excitedly, thrillingly in different ways to his expectations.

Expectations bite.  I am learning to ignore them and go with the flow.  I may not get what I aimed for at the beginning, but I get something wonderful or magical or simply good.

For the last two months, my life focus has been on the upcoming RUCCIS production.  Creating acts, rehearsing, recovering from muscle abuse *grins*, sewing SOOOOOO many costumes and promoting our performance!

So, while my blog has been vegging on the couch in front of trashy TV shows, I have done this...
It's a colour in Flyer for our show!  I loved the concept and had a ball making it. 

We are on the ACAPTA website , which gave me such a thrill.

I have spent hours days months making pretty fabrics into almost finished costumes...

These will be a 70's outfit, an egyptian statue costume, a Venetian Lady's dress and a Flapper dress, complete with awesome wig and feather headband. 
They WILL.  
I believe in me. 

The Princess is performing as well.  Her costume is a black shirt and pants with fur trim.  Not much of a challenge for me there...but I never wanted to be a Stage Mum, who pushes their child from backstage.  

Being on stage as well is So Much More Fun. ;-)

Sunday, 2 September 2012

I love Saturdays

When you were a little kid, did you ever spin and spin and spin around and around and around until you were so dizzy that you fell down on the grass, laughing and giggling and just feeling like the world was a sunshiney bright place?

I get to do that every Saturday, on a single point trapese, with an amazing fun group of people.

And land on a nice, soft, squishy mat.