Monday, 27 August 2012

When calling a Spade a Spade is a disguised putdown

Tonight, I realised how supportive my current friendship group is.

Tonight, it became clear to me that the positivity I surround myself with is wonderful and having a healing effect on me.

Tonight, I also realised that choosing your friends carefully is extremely important because sometimes the bad choices never go away.


After many Trickey hugs and possibly a bit of griping, I have my reactions back under control and my self esteem only showing a mark or two from the negativity thrown at me tonight.
What am I going to do tomorrow and the day after and the day after, when the little stones beings so lovingly projected at my self esteem start to cause cracks.

I may have to learn to stand up for myself.  Correct this person constantly instead of simply going along with it.

But how can I when I am not sure?  Not sure if what is said is true or untrue?  Or how much of it is that I have been trying the technique of "avoidance" and it is being incorrectly perceived by them as my usual vague, easily distracted self?

What if is this person right, but just also so used to living in a negative, soul-diminishing environment that this is the only way they know how to treat others.  Which sucks and seriously, I know I should take this as an opportunity to help, but I have previously given up 6 months of my life for this person's misery before and I DON'T WANT to do it again.  It's contagious.

I might be a spade.  But maybe that's not something to use to diminish and reduce me.  It might even be something to celebrate and learn how to use for a positive effect.

2 comments:

  1. Some people sat things that can be taken different ways and that can cause self doubt. I think this is what you are getting at. I've found that if they say it...they mean it but usually say they were joking. My sister was really the only one but she was cut out of my life as she was nasty... take care. xo

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  2. I find that so frustrating when people say they were joking, but got their harsh little message across, anyway.
    I'm glad you have freed yourself from some negativity.

    I have thought more about the conversation, and on one bit I am feeling less angst about... She told me I had always been self absorbed, and would have made a good only child (I thought she liked my sister! LOL) and I felt quite offended at that, as I work hard to be very involved and there for other people. Now, I am thinking she meant that I am quite capable of spending hours on my own, doing something I enjoy and don't need people with me all the time.

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