Monday, 27 August 2012

When calling a Spade a Spade is a disguised putdown

Tonight, I realised how supportive my current friendship group is.

Tonight, it became clear to me that the positivity I surround myself with is wonderful and having a healing effect on me.

Tonight, I also realised that choosing your friends carefully is extremely important because sometimes the bad choices never go away.

After many Trickey hugs and possibly a bit of griping, I have my reactions back under control and my self esteem only showing a mark or two from the negativity thrown at me tonight.
What am I going to do tomorrow and the day after and the day after, when the little stones beings so lovingly projected at my self esteem start to cause cracks.

I may have to learn to stand up for myself.  Correct this person constantly instead of simply going along with it.

But how can I when I am not sure?  Not sure if what is said is true or untrue?  Or how much of it is that I have been trying the technique of "avoidance" and it is being incorrectly perceived by them as my usual vague, easily distracted self?

What if is this person right, but just also so used to living in a negative, soul-diminishing environment that this is the only way they know how to treat others.  Which sucks and seriously, I know I should take this as an opportunity to help, but I have previously given up 6 months of my life for this person's misery before and I DON'T WANT to do it again.  It's contagious.

I might be a spade.  But maybe that's not something to use to diminish and reduce me.  It might even be something to celebrate and learn how to use for a positive effect.

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Clicking links in Real Life

Have you ever been on youtube, looking up a song you used to love, then, on the sidebar it recommended another song?  One that reminded you of an amazing summer, or a friend who sang it all the time, or just a good day?  Then the next link led you to listen to a song by that artist that you hadn't heard before.  Then a parody of a popular song was linked and you click that and laughed so hard and spent the night clicking through more and more links, following an unstructured pathway, having a virtual adventure.

That is what my life is like at the moment and I am loving it.

My Brother in law got a new girlfriend a few years ago. 
She had a bad back and we often talked about her medical issues.  Eventually, I decided to give her Chiropractor a go.

At the Chiro, one of the receptionists was an amazingly vibrant person who told us of the fun she had at circus training.  I thought it sounded way out there and dangerous, but was happy for her.  One school holidays Princess and I were having the discussion of "Ballet again or something new like Karate" as we walked in and involved the receptionist who commented that my Princess would LOVE Circus.  So off we went.  And she loved it.

So did I.

So I joined.

Many, many links were clicked here, trying all sorts of classes and loving them all.  More links were clicked, performing in public, choreographing, designing flyers, organising First Aid classes. 

The latest link on this journey has been face painting.  A friend had her birthday party theme as tattoo/face painting and it was so fun!  Just playing and being silly and doing art.  It's new love, mostly because I love how creamy and delicious feeling the face paints are.

For someone who can't wear makeup (I did months of research to find face paints I could use) this is sheer joy.

So here's some of my and Trickey's paintings.  I can see him being popular at the car show next year.

Another tangent... Another path I never expected to follow... being a flying mermaid!  This tail was amazingly cool to flip and swish!

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Soooo, the Olympics have started.

If someone hadn't mentioned it on Facebook, I wouldn't have known the Olympics had begun.

I used to love the Olympics.  Loved the opening Ceremony, watching the Athletes parade out in all the hopefulness.

Admittedly, I only have any interest in watching the gymnastics.  Which is shown less and less these days, in Australia.   I was almost tempted to get Pay TV this morning, whom are playing the Gymnastics quite extensively. 

So why am I not even turning on the television?  I know there is some block there, something insisting I don't.  I just want to know what that inhibition is and if it is one of my silly things or something practical.

I have noticed since I have become so involved with Circus, it takes up most of my mental space.  Maybe I don't want to distract from this process?

Is it a dislike of competitiveness?  The sadness I feel for those who makes mistakes, after devoting their lives to training for this one event? 

Distaste for the hype that goes with it?  The fake personalities I see on television, which are a big reason why the television only comes on to watch DVD's when I'm home.

Is it fear of getting sucked into the TV maybe?  Life is so much more fun when I am living it, rather than watching it!

Is it because I know I am going to get angry?  Be distressed by the stupid things that are said, as discussed by these two blogs...
Where is your Olympic Spirit?
Australia expects too much of Olympians

Who knows?  But I just turned on the TV and they are discussing complete junk and there is much screaming and my fingers are itching towards my remote control off button.

If anyone knows good Youtube versions of the gymnastics, let me know, but my ancient Tabby cat has just fallen asleep on her rainbow mat and I think I would rather watch her dream.  And feel the peace.