Wednesday, 29 February 2012

More about the bus

The bus hurts.  My back hurts.  I want to sleep all the time.  Stop the bus I want to get off. 

My daughter cannot figure out where her school bus stop is.

I am onto my 7th "system for learning to recognise your bus stop".

I yelled at her today.  About making excuses for not noticing the bus stop.  I've told hubby off all month for doing this, but I had one special reason why it was okay for me and not for him. 

Princess and I had discussed that Daddy is a fricken genius and sometimes has troubles understanding that she is not.  How a socially awkward couple with a 142 and 156 IQ and a serious science/engineering bent, got a daughter with kindness to animals and people in every atom of her body, artistic tendencies to the point where she probably WILL be able to have a career as a potter, with an IQ of 99 is somewhat unclear and probably has something to do with fairies.

Being told that it takes her 4-6 repetitions before we can even start to expect a concept to sink into her brain was such a liberating piece of info.  I had often assumed I was presenting it to her in a way that didn't click with her amazing little artist's mind.  So I learned about the different styles of learning.  Doing, touching, observing and verbal explanations.  We tried them all and did find she prefers a visual/audio style of learning.  Great!

Not enough. But knowing she has to do this so many times before the "path walked becomes a pathway" has meant I don't get upset.  I just hug her and start again.  And we did this with the bus, Princess and I.  No yelling.  Much discussion of good ways to help her learn. 

We got off the bus early and walked, so she could have time to recognise the landmarks.  We read street names out to each other.  We verbally described landmarks to each other.  We set her phone to go off the town before her school, in case she fell asleep... again.  We've played with maps.  I've driven, slowly, so she could pretend I was the bus driver.  We've gone past the bus stop, so she knows what to do if she misses it in future.  I let her decide how long she thinks it would take her to learn.  She said... by the end of Feb.

You know.  Today.  

Which is why I yelled.  I don't think she is taking it seriously.  She has tried, but not hard enough for me to feel that she is understanding that SHE WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER OWN SAFETY.

Not me. 

Her.

Alone.

Daydreaming.  On the Bus. 

Mama not coping.

I'm scared.  Physically, I can't keep going with her.  The school is awesome.  She is happy.  I am delighted about that but the PAIN!

*sighs* So, here is the next strategy.  Since she knocked back my plan to have electrodes stuck into her behind that are triggered to give her an electric shock when the bus passes the stop before hers.  I thought it most efficient.  *Shrugs*

She takes notes all the time, now.  She has a little book I bought her to take notes in, as we have accepted she is forgetful.  It is the fourth such book and the first to be used.  What made the difference?  It's a visual art diary, not a notebook.  She can draw her reminders.  It seems to be working.  So, there will be drawings done over the next week, of the landmarks for her bus stop. 

Maybe.  It will help.

Maybe, we will just have to move house till she finishes Year 12.

7 comments:

  1. Just stumbled upon your blog and think it is beautiful. You seem such a fab Mummy, what great ideas you've come up with to help your daughter learn to lead a more independent life. I hope the visual reminder book works for her. Keep going... I'll look forward to reading more xx

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    1. Thanks so much for your kind words.
      Love my lil' Princess, she's so fun and fascinating. A bit clingy, but so is her Mama. ;-)

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  2. lol my son loves his notebook too. I just bought him one. He's five and wants to write like mummy. However, I am not a fan of asking me to spell things like Nicolae (his imaginary friend), when and life saber, when I am trying to do work lol. He has always been fascinated with numbers. Often spouting strings of them. Now he writes them down in his notebook. Kids are strange folk. lol

    My 14 year old is pretty forgetful. Maybe drawing it out for him would help. hmmm i think I might try that.

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  3. There is another possible solution until she "gets" it. Ask the bus driver to remind her that her stop is the next one, or have her ask the bus driver to let her off at stop number ** on xyz street in abc town. I know of several adults who do this as they also have difficulty getting from A to B.

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  4. Or....how about counting with her every single stop so that she knows how many until she has to get off. Then she can count them for herself and learn where to get off?

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  5. As I grew up in a town without buses, I didn't know you could ask them to do that. I have already thanks the Wednesday Lady bus driver who stopped at the stop for the Princess, even without her pressing the stop button. I will ask her to let each bus driver know, as a back up. :-) Thanks!

    *checks on the counting idea* There are 58 stops before her school. I think she might find that a bit challenging.

    Monday, she is feeling confident she can go alone. She resisted the drawing, but the lecture took hold and she took the next trips very seriously.

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  6. You're SOOOOOOO patient! This is why I don't have children!! And following on from the above - is there a landmark she can look out for a bit closer to home and THEN start counting the stops?

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