Saturday, 14 January 2012

All clucked out

Today I held that stick up to the light, standing out in the shed with a slightly nervous Trickey, waiting to see how many blue lines there would be.

I have all the symptoms.

There was some searching through new baby girl names, having decided Cynthia was no longer my most adored choice. Lucy was an shared like.

In my head, planning how to best clear out the craft room had already begun.

Google terms such as "pregnancy at 40" and "Pregnancy exercises" had led to many a now-read website.

The immense cluckiness I constantly repress was allowed out to play.

And that little stick determinedly continued to show only one line.

Then. I realised. I was relieved.

So many worries, about keeping my health to a level to have fun with my Princess until she is at least 25, of staying functional, being there for her. How could I cope with adding another 13 years on top of that for a new little person?
Would I still be able to walk after a pregnancy?
Could I even lift a baby?
Not to mention PND and all the other usual pregnancy fears that I had already accepted as part and parcel of the payment to the universe for another child.

Now I have set aside my cluckiness and accepted that I am moving on.

I shall be the Mother of Awesome to my Princess and that will do.

And get a new kitten.
I really want a kitten.
I want to just go out and get one and present Trickey with a fait accompli.
Since the people I respect have all shown my reluctance to do such a thing without his agreement and the people I don't respect have said, "just go and do it", my decision to keep encouraging (so much prettier a word than nag, doncha think?) him was fairly simple.
Kitten.
*sigh*

3 comments:

  1. Wow what a roller coaster ride. I can only imagine what you have been through.
    Glad everything is cool now.

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  2. The last 14 years have been a bit challenging, yes! It is nice to move on. :-D

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  3. Rollercoaster of emotions indeed! Much loves xox

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