Thursday, 29 September 2011

Living life like an elevator mechanic.

I am hiding in a corner of my house, trapped here by squealing, running, chasing, giggling 11 year olds.

This is good.

That my daughter still is more comfortable having a toy as her "avatar" during social interactions, not so good.

Inch by Inch.
We will get there.

It has been an interesting time, some amazing highs with our Hoops performance (Waiting on photos - hanging out to share them here!), Princess' wonderful tissu act and the Melbourne Juggling convention.

I agreed to volunteer at the MJconvention again... (and showed up with hoops this time!) With some wonderful encouragement and a circus friend to be with, I did some workshops and watched incredible people practice extraordinary tricks, like with this amazing juggler (he had a pink parasol this year)

instead of wandering away to get lunch and texting the co-ordinator that since I had done my volunteer hours, I wasn't coming back. It was too big and scary last year!

Two sisters took this very casual and awesome hoop workshop and taught tricks that would never have occurred to me! So fun! So wish I had become involved in circus before my neck was so badly degraded, but C'est la Vie! Is still fun now!

Lots of exclamation marks!

Some massive lows with panic attacks, exhaustion, so sore neck, insecurity alternating with attempts at believing in myself.

And. Today is my recently deceased family member's 40th Birthday. In three days, I will be older than her.

So much wrongness.

But I have really sparkly nails. See?
And that is very right.

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

How do you react to disapproval?

So last night, I read something written vaguely about me that brought on a full blown panic attack. To the point of being partially immobilised by the muscle tension, spending the evening and night curled up in a fetal position, reading about how to deal with insecurity and anxiety on the Princess's iPod. Hiding under my doona and writing it all out, getting it out of my head.

Today, a 2 hour walk in the rain (with umbrella), teddy bear biscuits in bed with a Meg Cabot book and the world is looking like a pretty nice place again.

Wish we'd had the internet when I was a kid.

How do you react when someone clearly shows they think you are "doin it wrong"?

Sunday, 4 September 2011

Hidden dangers... are you next?

Many of my friends are involved in the performing arts. This is the time of the year when productions are happening, competitions prepared for with loving attention to detail and sadly, when we push ourselves harder and more injuries happen.

Over the last few weeks an insidious and unexpected danger has revealed it's previously masked existance.

Did I not know of this performing arts risk because it is shamefully embarassing and no-one speaks of it?

Is it an occurance that is new and everyone is standing around in shock at it's rising prevalence?
How can we save ourselves from this horrible and unavoidable (unless perhaps, one prefers to perform only in body-paint. So not for moi.) aspect of performing?

Have you guessed?

Or is it so incomprehendable to those outside of or new to the performing arts world that you would never have imagined the horrific dangers faced during every dress rehearsal, every performance, as I had previously never considered it a chancy occupation?

It is the risk of incurring grevious bodily harm by Costume Changes!!!

A friend's first Calisthenics performance was marred when her neck was pulled out of place by the swift removal of clown wig to jam the next costume on.

Another friend, attempting to slither out of her slinky unitard has done something to her middle finger and can no longer express her displeasure with other drivers in time honoured birdy fashion. Not that she ever would, but still... floppy middle fingers are not condusive to excellence on the cloud swing or tissu.

What can we do to stop these tragedys? Would back stage warning posters be enough?


Thursday, 1 September 2011


*looks innocently around at the ceiling, floors and other equally "innocent" areas*

Soooo, I'm a bit of a cripple. Things like being awake for a whole day, sitting at the sewing machine for more than ten minutes and being able to focus clearly are not always within my capabilities. C'est la vie. I can work around it.

However, sensible people in imperfect health do not (train with a Circus in the first place but have I mentions SO MUCH FUN?!) volunteer to take on lots of roles to help make the production wonderful. Yes, every item deeply interests me.

The Hoop act.
The ridiculously cute puffed sleeves we are wearing as Wicked Step Sisters at the Ball with Cinderella *that I offered to sew for everyone since no one else sews*
My own costume, which is going to be beyond awesome and really sparkly. Not just sequins anymore. Now with foily shiny too!

Did I mention I have managed to convince the rest of the performers in the hoop act that they need to have sequins as well? Is goooooood. :D We could just stand there and blind the audience and be done with it!

Then, the subject of the flyer came up. Do you know who brought it up?
The coach? Noooo.
The admin? Noooo.
Perhaps even a parent wanting flyers to hand out? Well, she did bring it to MY attention.

Then, I brought it to the Coach and Admin's attention. And promptly volunteered cos How Interesting Will That Be To Do! What fun! I have ideas in my head already!

What I don't time and spare energy. Ditz. Eyes bigger that stomach, or in this case, calendar, Ditz.

Happy Ditz, though! Off to play!
And yes. There will be sparkles on it. Dazzling Diamonds glitter rules! And maybe a Unicorn. Since the theme is Fantasy and Fairytales. I get to put a Unicorn on it.